i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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