return my video game
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
