You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
