why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
