I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
