Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
