I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
