I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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