who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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