I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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