Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
