reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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