I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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