I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize