I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
