I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I CAN MOONWALK!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I will pee on everything he values.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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