Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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