On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
