He is such a slut. More and more my type.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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