He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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