We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She even gives head with a lisp.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize