I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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