D3 body, D1 cock
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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