Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
