haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need to sanitize my soul.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
