I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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