I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
