She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I deserve this hangover.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
