Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
