someone get that fucking seahorse.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
