Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
