they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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