proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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