i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
