so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
