my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
