Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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