i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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