Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The best revenge is premature balding
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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