if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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