i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
