What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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