i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
