Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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