I want to make a zoo with you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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