i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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