i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
