I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And then my night got REAL pukey
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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