every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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