**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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