He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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