Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
