Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize