just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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