If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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