Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
True strength comes from lack of pants
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
