So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
