question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
