i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize