My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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