I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
