So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
