If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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