If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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