They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
