Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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