it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
