i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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