Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
