I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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