he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
