she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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