Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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