She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
