Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
