You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize