would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
