That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
