So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
