You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
