Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
