You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
