So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
