ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize