it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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